Out searching for another burger recently, I found myself walking down Swanston Street in the CBD. I was heading to a place that I had been before. A place that I visited before TGBC started, and one that possibly helped fuel the decision to start reviewing burgers in the first place. I remembered the burger being really good, and now it was time to find out for sure. The place was “Gloria’s On Swanston”, although now it’s called the “Lounge Bar & Kitchen”.

If you didn’t know it was there, you’d probably walk right past the small doorway that leads upstairs into a large bar area. I walked in and the place was pretty empty. Uh oh! Could this be right? Hmmmm….. I just had to put it down to the fact that it was a Monday lunchtime. I wanted to try their famous “Kick Ass” Burger. Unfortunately, it’s only available at dinner time – WTF?? So I had to have the “Classic Cheeseburger” instead, which comes with 150-day grain-fed 200g Black Angus beef (dry-aged in-house for a minimum 21 days – apparently?! Lol), Swiss cheese, ketchup and classic American mustard, in a house-made sesame bun. I was starving (of course) and was very tempted to throw in a fried chicken patty, however the description of the beef was enough for me to double the patty, and throw in some extra cheese and bacon for good measure!

I anxiously waited for my meal. The waiter came over and asked if I wanted a knife and fork?! Pfffft! “Away with you” I said, “that won’t be necessary”. He replied with “A man’s, man huh?”. As he walked away, I thought to myself, “absolutely!” Lol. My meal finally arrived, and with it came another comment, “now that’s a big burger!” – and it was!  I waited for it to cool down to a “woofable” temperature before picking it up and starting to get into it. It was still way too hot though, and as my burger etiquette dictates, once you pick up the burger, you cannot put it down. I had to press on and at first was biting into one patty at a time because it was so thick. I actually also ended up turning it upside down as it was slipping all over the place!

This was a straight up Cheeseburger, with loads of flavour. The meat was good, although I really should have left it at only one patty because it did take over the rest of the burger and make it really “heavy”. Cheese, sauces and bacon were all good. The bun was soft and lasted the distance too.

Fries on the side were super tasty, and washing it all down with a Coopers Pale Ale, made for a tasty meal.

So if you are in the mood for a solid cheeseburger in a relaxed, pub like atmosphere, then this place is definitely worth a shot. I still need to get back there and try out the signature “Kick Ass” burger, which I would hope is as good or better than this experience!!

Where is the best straight up Cheesebuger?
TKO – Technical Knock Out – 7.2/10

Location: Lounge Bar & Kitchen, 243 Swanston Street, Melbourne VIC 3000

It can be difficult sometimes to decide which burger place to go to. There are so many options and so much to consider, like travel distance, menu options and reputation. So when there is an event that has 18 different burger trucks and pop up stores in the one place, there’s no question about where to go, which is exactly what I did recently at the first Hank Marvin Burger Biannual. It was like burger heaven. As I walked around the park surveying the options, I was excited because there was so much to choose from, but also slightly overwhelmed too. Could I actually fit in 3 or 4 different burgers in one session? Hmmmmmm maybe not! But then is that wasting the high level of burger accessibility available?

I finally narrowed down the choices and decided to place all my bets on “That Burger Joint”, who are usually located in St Kilda and who I have also been keen to test out. I ordered the “Double BJ with Bacon”, which came with 2 x 150gm Wagyu beef patties, cos lettuce, sliced tomato (luckily it was sliced and not a whole tomato! Lol), Spanish onion, melted American cheddar, cherry wood bacon, a dash of tomato relish, BJ herb mayo and encased in a Japanese milk bun. I waited for what felt like a lifetime, although I was starving and taking as long as I did to decide what to have didn’t help with my concept of time.

It was finally ready. Half wrapped in paper and in a cardboard tray, it looked really good. I found a bench seat so I could sit and enjoy my feast. I unwrapped it and realised it was a seriously big burger. Juice was running everywhere as I loaded up and started to devour it. A few bites into it though and I realised that the meat didn’t have much flavour. It was like bland sausage meat that hadn’t been cooked properly or that had been boiled instead of grilled. It was soft and mushy, which was disappointing because I had enjoyed watching it being cooked on a BBQ grill, so expected it to be super tasty. Otherwise, the rest of the burger was great, especially the bacon, cheese and sauces. The bun was good too. I just couldn’t get past the ordinary tasting meat. It was too much. I think it just needed to be cooked for a bit longer or at a higher temperature or something.

No chips with the meal or anything to wash it down this time. It was all about the burger!!

Overall, the Hank Marvin Burger Biannual is a great idea. Unfortunately, my choice this time left me disappointed – maybe they are better on their home turf? Who knows? Either way, I will definitely be back for the festival next year where I might try and fit in a few burgers from more than one place to reduce the risk of further disappointment. Let the training begin!!

What has your experience been like at “That Burger Joint”?
Split Decision – 6.2/10

Location: That Burger Joint, 221 Barkly Street, St Kilda VIC 3182

Had the mid-week munchies recently, and was lucky to get out and about for another burger adventure. This time I headed to a place called, Captain Melville’s in the CBD, which is just a short stroll from the Victoria Market. According to their website, their menu is described as “pub food. Done well”, and I wanted to see how their burger stacked up.

This place was established in 1853 and from the minute you see it and walk in, it has that warm, old pub feeling to it too. I grabbed a menu and decided to go with the “Captain’s Burger” which came with double beef patty, double cheese, double bacon, fried egg, ketchup and pickles. As I waited, I enjoyed the pub surrounds and watching the hoards of workers hitting the pub for their lunch.

My burger arrived and it looked terrific. I picked it up and got stuck into it straight away. A few bites in and it hit me….. this was a seriously good burger. The meat was full of flavour and the rest of the ingredients were fresh and tasty too, especially the cheese, bacon and egg. The bun was fantastic. In fact I think it was one of the softest buns going around!! Put simply, it was a no nonsense, solid, tasty burger that really hit the spot.

Chips on the side were really good and this time, to complete the pub experience, I went with a boutique beer that seems to be making a comeback in lots of places – Melbourne Bitter!

Overall, I must admit, given this place was not a straight up, gourmet burger joint, I was really sceptical about how it would go. Pleasingly, it turned out to be quite a surprise packet and great experience all around. So if you are looking for a pub styled experience, where the place has lots of character and the burger is super tasty, then you should give this place a go!

Where is your favourite pub burger?
KO – Knock Out – 8.1/10

Location: Captain Melville, 34 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 3000

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